Are you waiting for something better to come along?

A search on Wikipedia about the term R.S.V.P. (which I’m sure many of you’ve seen on any given invitation card for a wedding, party, seminar, etc) gives the following definition…

“Répondez s’il vous plaît”, a French phrase that translates to “please respond”” or literally “respond, if you please” [1]. It is with this meaning that invitation cards and similar documents are often marked with “R.S.V.P.” It is standard practice to reply to an RSVP request whether confirming attendance or declining.

Till now I’ve had to personally manage the guest list for my own wedding and recently to a few other events…(the hassles for my now-non-existent birthday parties were managed by my parents and oh how I feel for them now!)… and I must say I’m extremely pissed that people just don’t pay you the respect or courtesy of RSVP-ing when you have requested them to do so by either providing a phone number on the invitation card or some other option if the invite has been made online…

What people don’t seem to realize is that hosts need to know who is coming so that they can 1. plan the food, drink and seating arrangement 2. invite replacements if necessary or 3. even reschedule the event.

Of those of you reading this right now….anyone who’s been a recipient to an invitation (that I or someone else in your life sent you) that specifically asked you to RSVP and you simply didn’t bother…well please realize this very irrevocable fact: each time you don’t RSVP, you fall further in the host’s estimation. Eventually, if not immediately, you fall off people’s guest lists.

Then there is the “maybe” RSVP, which I think is actually worse than no RSVP. I’m not harping about the legitimate excuses for the “maybes”, like family issues, a pending official trip that’s yet to be confirmed by your boss, etc. But just that if there’s a serious “maybe” involved, one should have the decency to at least call/email/sms …“Hey! Thanks for the invite! But I can’t confirm right now whether I can make it. Can I I let you know by such-and-such date?” (And then do confirm by that date!). This way the host knows you got the invite, and why you haven’t replied yet. That way, he or she won’t worry that the reason you don’t want to commit is that you’re waiting for something better to come along 😛

And if you do say you’re going to come, but suddenly find you can’t due to family emergency, illness, a project change at work or something similar – please do call/sms/anything! as soon as you know. I seriously don’t need to know why you couldn’t make it two hours into the event or after it’s over and done with, leaving me with the frustrated feeling that I could’ve invited tons of other people who’d have just loved to change places with you!