Family Ties…Untied

I think I had said once before.. that you are a TRULY lucky person if you can find ONE ..just ONE..other person during your entire lifetime who totally gets you. And if that person turns out to be your life-partner.. well then.. you’re not just are infinitely blessed. Because face it… there is just so much you can share with your parents or siblings.

I have come to the irrevocable conclusion that childhood has its fair share of all things “Josh!”. You remain wonderfully ignorant of all the family politics and double (even triple) entendres made by members of your family. The older you get, unfortunately, everyone expects you to participate in all things “familial” and then when some sort of trouble brews, you’re expected to take sides… a pitfall ANYONE in their right minds would love to avoid at any cost.

NO human being is perfect. Every single person in ANY given family has their fair share of virtues AND vices. And more often thanΒ  not, rather than anyone being either right or wrong, it’s usually a case of a big, bad messy affair of miscommunication, where both parties have failed to understand each other’s point. A misunderstanding has NOTHING to do with anyone being right or wrong… a misunderstanding, in effect, is a VERY grey area and cannot be something SO black and white as being right or wrong.

Sorry am I going around in circles? Much apologies if I sound like a broken record, but all the family-related problems I’ve seen thus far seems to me just that… a very big and a very messy case of misunderstanding…where everyone has their wires crossed…tangled…maybe even shredded to pieces…

And I’ve always been the type of person who wants to avoid all things messy at all costs. One of my new year resolutions this time around was to keep busy with as much work and band-related stuff as possible in order to avoid as many family get-togethers as possible.

Seriously. The further removed you are from each and every scenario, the more easier it is to calmly say ‘Sorry, I wasn’t there, so I really can’t give my opinion on the matter’. I know that sounds extremely selfish (even more so, as it has to do with one’s own family) but well..I HAVE tried the other route… and never DID get ANY positive results/feedbacks/vibes for my efforts.

Other than my immediate family, including the one through my marriage, every other person’s opinion isn’t worth my precious time or my consideration. It’s a lesson learned the hard way.

Sorry. But that’s that. I know a lot of people will say.. “Awh c’mon. These things are constantly happening in every family. Don’t sweat the small stuff.”

But as one good friend always says, “It’s always the little stuff that makes or breaks things.”


Life in the Fast Lane

Well..finally the translation work I had mentioned earlier is done and dusted with.


I am sure you can all guess that this was THE reason I’d sort of disappeared from the blogging world.

For a couple of examples of my efforts, have look here. Try to hum the words in your head in the original tune and maybe you could let me know what you thought of it all?

Ok. Time for some positive news now. WE BOUGHT A CAR! It’s a “third-hand” car. As in the previous owner had bought it second-hand himself. He’s actually one of our friend’s boss and was a real sweetheart as he sold it to us at a lesser price than he’d intended after hearing our budget crisis :). And yes..I’ll be posting pics soon. Once we have it nicely washed, polished and in spick-and-span condition.

The car had increasingly become a necessity. Saif and I lead such a hectic life – we have shows every other week, and if not shows, then some sort of social get-together to attend. The part of Dhaka city where we live, though in a prime location, is rather cut-off from the main roads and we can somehow never manage to get a cab or cng when we NEED one. And more often than not..the driver usually goes “Jabo na” (Won’t go) :P. Even if we offer them double the fare! And then when you ask them in frustration and exasperation “Why ever not?”, they come back with the same retort or some godforsaken excuse like “Won’t get any commuters if I go to that particular neighbourhood”. Bleh!

So yes. We’re now the proud owners of a Toyota Carina.

Now if we could only do away with the 3-hour traffic jams in the city…Sigh.

Yes..we CAN multi-task

Can you do your nails and watch a movie at the same time? Oh…I’m sorry…if you are a man…then this question doesn’t apply to you…but you might find this post worth your time anyways…

When I’m on my own…and I’m watching a movie or something on TV…I find it extremely easy to pay attention to whatever is happening on the screen while at the same time…say be painting my toesies …or sewing on a button or something…

If you, by some twist of fate, can be under the serious misconception that I’m not interested in the movie…or I’m not paying it the attention it deserves…well, instead of feeling peeved about it you can always ask me what exactly is going on in my mind…and then, you just might raise your eyebrows at the fact that not only can I summarize the plot…I can even describe what the characters look like..down to the colour of their clothes…

Trust me…as a man…if it’s something extremely hard for you to grasp…just bear with the lacking in you..there is NO lacking in me…maybe the max you can do when it comes to multi-tasking is perhaps watch TV and eat at the same time..anything outside that comfort zone throws you off…please wake up to the fact that your psychological make-up unfortunately doesn’t allow you this wonderful leisure us women so enjoy…

And if you don’t believe me…just try to recall if you’ve ever watched your own mom going furiously at it with her knitting needles while watching her favourite soap on tv…

But no need to pout…God has given you MANY attributes which he has deemed not really useful for us…

All I’m asking is that you appreciate the differences and not necessarily generalize a man’s psychological make-up with that of a woman’s…

You’ll simply sink..each and every time.


I couldn’t think of a better title for this post..seriously..

Woke up this morning to see that the whole of Dhaka city (yup.. born here.. and most likely dying here as well if my immigrations plans go.. tits up) enveloped under a think blanket of fog…

It has never been this cold around this time of the year in my country…the cold waves, which usually lasts for about a week max, starts knocking at our door around mid-Jan.. sometimes as late as early-Feb. This time the weather is playing havoc with all our ..conceptions πŸ˜› It has been steadily getting colder and colder from mid-Nov this year…

So here I am.. at 12:30 in the afternoon, cozied up in my tiger-printed blanket, on my corner of the bed, sipping on a hot cup of tea.. looking out at the perpetual misty fog outside my bedroom window.. and I’m wearing socks today.. yes, it’s that cold..

It’s also my dad’s birthday and I know we’ll be going out to dinner somewhere nice and cozy.. something I’m really looking forward to.. I always look forward to anything that involves food.. πŸ˜€

But this very thing was reminding me of how I’m sometimes torn between being in a million places at the same time. Celebrating my dad or my mom’s birthday.. or that of someone else equally dear to my heart.. is something I will never ever miss. It’s not an obligation.. it’s something which I always look forward to.. because of the love I feel for them.. and also due to the fact that I feel happy and carefree and am at my element, having fun, during such occasions..

But something happened yesterday.. something which tops my “oh-so-very-tiring-and-frustrating-incidents” list. Saif’s cousin.. a fab guy with a fab sense of humour, who’s more like a brother than a cousin (if you can understand the fine nuances between the two).. and who’s come all the way from abroad, is getting hitched this Saturday. Once again, it’s an event I’m really looking forward to.. and all the ladies on the groom’s side.. which includes yours truly.. is going to go over to the bride-to-be’s place on Friday to gift her the wedding shari, along with the rest of the other lovely things in her trousseau. Mind you, this is the first wedding in Saif’s family, since our own .

In the meantime, my mom is hosting a dinner party at her house on Friday. The guests of honour are the siblings of my oldest cousin’s wife.. on my mom’s side.. visiting from abroad. Yes, I can visualize your eyebrows going up trying to make the oh-so-close family connection πŸ˜›

I had promised her I’d help her out at the party (way before she’d set a date for it) so I called her up and explained the situation and stated that I’d drop by on Thursday and ready the house for the party the next day, make the dessert (my specialty) and help out during her cooking the main dishes as well. The only glitch being that I won’t be able to attend the main event itself. I also kept trying to remind her that Saif and I had, for the past several months, dutifully attended the majority of the dawats and parties held by my parents as well as our extended family, despite us being on an extremely tight schedule with all our year-end shows. We were due a little respite. From one single party.

But it was to no avail. My mom got all upset and blurted out something around the lines of “Fine don’t come and you don’t need to help out either. It’s a party at my house and my own daughter won’t be there.. “… :S

So finally, I had to plan a rather convoluted schedule…go over to my parent’s on Wednesday night after dinner at Saif’s cousin’s future-in-laws’ (yes there are bound to be back-to-back parties before and after a scheduled wedding).. help my mom out with all the arrangements throughout the whole day on Thursday, then return to my place that night.. then on Friday, after attending the all-girl outing over to the bride-to-be’s, go over to my parent’s again from there for the party.

Not really that much of a crappy-crazy-schedule.. but it turns into one, when you have to live in a city like Dhaka, where these days our infamous traffic jams don’t let up.. not even on a weekend night.. nopity nope.

I have never been so glad as not to be working full-time anywhere at the moment..

Like I said..