Family Ties…Untied

I think I had said once before.. that you are a TRULY lucky person if you can find ONE ..just ONE..other person during your entire lifetime who totally gets you. And if that person turns out to be your life-partner.. well then.. you’re not just lucky..you are infinitely blessed. Because face it… there is just so much you can share with your parents or siblings.

I have come to the irrevocable conclusion that childhood has its fair share of all things “Josh!”. You remain wonderfully ignorant of all the family politics and double (even triple) entendres made by members of your family. The older you get, unfortunately, everyone expects you to participate in all things “familial” and then when some sort of trouble brews, you’re expected to take sides… a pitfall ANYONE in their right minds would love to avoid at any cost.

NO human being is perfect. Every single person in ANY given family has their fair share of virtues AND vices. And more often than  not, rather than anyone being either right or wrong, it’s usually a case of a big, bad messy affair of miscommunication, where both parties have failed to understand each other’s point. A misunderstanding has NOTHING to do with anyone being right or wrong… a misunderstanding, in effect, is a VERY grey area and cannot be something SO black and white as being right or wrong.

Sorry am I going around in circles? Much apologies if I sound like a broken record, but all the family-related problems I’ve seen thus far seems to me just that… a very big and a very messy case of misunderstanding…where everyone has their wires crossed…tangled…maybe even shredded to pieces…

And I’ve always been the type of person who wants to avoid all things messy at all costs. One of my new year resolutions this time around was to keep busy with as much work and band-related stuff as possible in order to avoid as many family get-togethers as possible.

Seriously. The further removed you are from each and every scenario, the more easier it is to calmly say ‘Sorry, I wasn’t there, so I really can’t give my opinion on the matter’. I know that sounds extremely selfish (even more so, as it has to do with one’s own family) but well..I HAVE tried the other route… and never DID get ANY positive results/feedbacks/vibes for my efforts.

Other than my immediate family, including the one through my marriage, every other person’s opinion isn’t worth my precious time or my consideration. It’s a lesson learned the hard way.

Sorry. But that’s that. I know a lot of people will say.. “Awh c’mon. These things are constantly happening in every family. Don’t sweat the small stuff.”

But as one good friend always says, “It’s always the little stuff that makes or breaks things.”

The Year That Was…

I’ve been cut off from the net these past few weeks as I’ve been staying at my parents (till my bro, Sakib…sis-in-law, Tanu…and nephew, Areeb…head back to the States) and there’s no net here for my personal use…lol… The only other time I get to check mail is at work but you can only do so much while at office…

Anyways… the past year has had its share of good and bad and great and horrible things…but then again this so-called ‘balance’ has always been the Almighty’s way of keeping our head and feet firmly on the ground…

So the things that stand out most in my memory right now…let’s see…

I got hitched…to this wonderful guy called…Saif…who is someone who goes beyond his means and nature to see/keep me happy :)…No I’m not bragging or saying he’s perfect…no one is… but I love him with all his share of virtues and vices…and he reciprocates that 360 degrees… 🙂

We formed a band called GrooveTrap and after loads of toil and trouble released our debut album…but I wouldn’t change the ‘toil and trouble’ part for anything… met so many wonderful people on the way that it more than makes up for it all…

My nephew…Areeb (picture below)…was born on April 27…and I finally got to see him and spend time with him for the six months that bhaia and Tanu was in Dhaka for bhaia’s PhD research work. The first time I was alone with him in a room (I was putting him to sleep) I couldn’t help but start crying…I couldn’t control it…and it went on to show me an inkling of how much love parents feel for their children…I’m just his aunt. It must be quite frightening…

Saif and I also lodged our Permanent Residency application for Australia for the state of Melbourne. I’m excited and apprehensive all at the same time regarding what the future will hold for us there…if we at all win the PR in the first place. But there are friends and family there… so even if we fall at times I know they’ll be there to lend a hand to help us up…

I had one of the most wonderful birthdays in 2008…I knew that Saif would surely be planning something with our closest friends…and on the eve before my birthday, after playing at a gig, we’d all gone to Pizza Hut to have dinner…where they had the waiters unexpectedly do their regular ‘special birthday song & dance’ while I had to sit high up on the chair (thankfully I got away from standing on top of the chair by giving the lame excuse that my birthday was actually 4 more hours away :P)…and I thought that was it…but boy..was I wrong. I had no clue of what was coming and I’m going to dedicate a whole new post for this story…it deserves one…:)

Anyways…let me not elaborate on the bad or horrible episodes. I was never good at dwelling on such things as it always ends up making me depressed for days at a stretch…and I’m sure none of you need to know either. It’ll just spoil the whole ‘feel-good’ factor.

It’s now a whole new year ahead of me…us…In just three more days Areeb, bhaia and Tanu will be leaving for Wyoming…and I know I’ll bawl like a baby…but like Saif said…I should be thankful that Areeb is so young….he will soon forget and not go through the pain of pining for us…I wouldn’t wish it on the poor little tyke…

So here’s looking to the year ahead…and as is my way…I’ll be simply going with the flow…’planning’ for things never did work for me…it seems the Almighty always has something different in mind…lol…and once a particular moment in time has eclipsed I realize his idea of what’s best for me always outshines whatever I could’ve concocted up for myself…

Happy New Year everyone!